Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Top Ten "Most Pointless Lists" List


10. Top 40 Robots of All Time (Fictional and Real) (pastemagazine.com)


Really? Only 40? I can think of at least...60 popular robots vying for a top spot on this exclusive list (if you count each robot that has ever existed 15 times). But what is perhaps most disturbing about this list is the fact that the holder of the lowly #40 spot belongs to the life-saving innovative medical technology of the DaVinci surgical robot, while Disney’s Wall-E has a firm grasp at #1. (Oh and like 15 other Japanese personal assistant robots that can open cans of soda are somewhere in the middle.)


9. Top 10 Dumbest Dog Breeds (hubpages.com)


That's not nice. And, quite frankly, a little dog racist to even single them out. Anyway, where's the research to back up such a list? Broad-sweeping judgments on dog intellect isn't fair...I vote we change the list to the "Top 10 Dog Breeds That Look Like They Have Balls Hanging From Under Their Chins"...


8. Top 10 Songs About Presidents (LA Weekly)


I'll give you $1000 right now if you can name just one. Can't do it? That’s surprising. Hmmm...Who could forget that ol' ragtime-blues dirge to President McKinley and his numerous botched surgeries? That one was timeless...

7. Top 10 Movies About Cancer (Top-10-Lists.org)


Thanks...I'll avoid those.

6. Top 3 Mighty Ducks Movies (peterandrobmakelistsofthings.blogspot.com)


Some decisions are just impossible to make.


5. Top 10 Needlepoint Websites (topsite.com)


Yes, folks, what we have here is proof that the internet is a limitless abyss of information that discriminates against no one. Even if I knew a person who was a diehard needlepoint enthusiast...and even if said enthusiast knew how to work the internet, and EVEN IF that enthusiast could work a computer with her arthritic fingers, I would never expect that person to need an entire ten suggestions for websites to peruse.


4. Top 10 Ways to Stop Your Cat From Urinating-Peeing-Defecating-Pooping on Plants-Carpet-Furniture (123-pet.com)


This list isn’t so much “pointless” as it is entertainingly charming. I couldn’t help noticing the deep thought that went into choosing the absolute perfect title for this list. There’s something about hyphenated verbs that just rolls off the tongue…But in all honesty, if I owned a cat, I’m sure it would urinate-pee-defecate-poop on my plants-carpet-furniture. So I’ll keep this one in my bookmarks.


3. Top 10 Third World Countries (toptentopten.com)


Oddly enough, I found this list after Googling “weight loss secrets”. This list compiles the globes most laughable developmental wannabes. For the record, one of the prerequisites to make this list is having your own set of pirates.


2. Top 10 Ways to Know if You Might Be a Member of a Public-Sector Union (dailycaller.com)


Zzzzzz…….


1. Top 6 Most Awkward Spelling Bee Moments (elistmania.com)


I don’t know what’s more patheticthe fact that they can’t think of an even “10” awkward moments in Spelling Bee history, or that somebody out there cares enough about Spelling Bee history at all to compile an entire list about it. Either way, this list is incredibly superfluous. “Superfluous….S-U-P-E-R-F……..”